~~ On Fire  ~~

For months – darn near a year I’ve been struggling with blogging, with having the follow through to do what my heart was telling me to do. I was down on myself for not following through, for letting my life get in the way and take priority over County Watch. I wanted to do it but I just didn’t have “it” in me and that would get me even more down on the whole scene! I had several opportunities that I thought this will do it – this will light the fire. For instance, did I mention I got to have lunch with the Band Perry?  Oh yeah more to come on that! Once in a lifetime coolness!!  Did I mention I got to go to Nashville VIP style to see Tim McGraw and Faith get their stars? Yea super cool [thanks Kim and Tim’s FC]! More to come on that one too! I even got to be the photographer for 2 of the Wolf’s Christmas charity shows, which included doing Love and Theft’s meet and greet photos! How cool is that? Very! The fact that none of this really lit the fire to “blog” about it or get me re-motivated. I hit the ground running a few times but the endurance just wasn’t there and the attempts were feeble and short minded. Honestly I had pretty much thrown in the towel. Sad but true!

Then…..today reminded me what the real reason was that I started Country Watch. I’ve been seeking the wrong answer and today that became crystal clear! Because of that I had almost given up, I knew my passion was still here for music but it felt empty and lifeless. It felt as if my voice would/could never make a difference so why do it! Today it all came back to me! I’ve never done it for me, it’s always been about trying to help artists – musicians – writers – get their music heard. As we all know very few get the recognition they deserve and that is just the way it is but I was out to change the world, and when that didn’t happen I let it get to me, took it personally and virtually gave up! Seeing, hearing, meeting Russel Dickerson today at the radio station in the #wolfden [92.5 the Wolf in Denver] I came to a realization, it didn’t matter if I made a difference I was going to damn sure try! My spirit was uplifted, it’s not about me and never has been about me being recognized for what I do, it’s always been about what the music does for me!

To wrap it up ….. I’m back! I’m gonna do it my way which by no means is the conventional way but it works! It’s from the heart and soul because that’s where music hits me. Where it resonates within me!

~ Nickie ~